Is It Ego? Or Is It Honesty?
Reading Time: 9 Mins.
There’s something else I feel I need to get off my chest and articulate after experiencing this so often throughout my career as an artist, and I’m not sure if others can relate to it, but if you can, then this article is for you.
SOME Have A Problem When You Can Do What They Can’t
The other day, I gave a private update to those who preordered my book that I wanted to delay production a bit longer due to US tariffs and rising costs to keep them from having to pay more for shipping (as the printer I’m working with is based in China), and in response, I received a rather insulting reply to it. Which is whatever, I expected at least one or two negative reactions. I have no control over what’s going on in the world and as you know, people live in bubbles. But what was said after I stated something that is just normal and obvious to me, was met with a “you are egotistical” remark.
Over the years, people have called me egotistical for simply being straight-up with them, and I have long wondered why that is the case. After studying psychology a bit more in-depth for the past several years, I have a more clearer understanding of this phenomenon.
Ex.A: I should give myself a new nickname: “The Ad-Hominem Attack Target”. Got a nice ring to it.
In this specific case, the person in particular made a spectacle out of nothing when they could’ve just simply asked to cancel and get their preorder deposit money back. They wanted to try and teach me something about myself that I allegedly didn’t know about. To talk about how much they’re trying to focus on their kids and their family while doing art as a hobby (like, okay???). They brought up the color of my skin as if that had anything to do with waiting on an artbook to be made from scratch (as if any other artist who isn’t brown-skinned don’t have to spend time to make art from scratch too???). There was heavy projection at play talking about how I’m “disappointing customers” when a ton of customers order from my stores regularly, receive my products lightning-fast, and are always satisfied with them based on their own reviews:
Ex.B: I mean, everyone can click and read these legitimate reviews if they took a moment to stop doomscrolling and listening to people who haven’t bought shit from me on X, Reddit, and whatnot.
Now, if you have been following me for some time, you know that I always reflect the energy given to me back on others. I firmly believe in base respect being given and more to be earned, and to always be considerate out the gate. That same base respect can also be subtracted. But for some reason, some people tend to not do the same towards me despite who I am and what I do for a living. It’s as if they take it personally that I’ve grown accustomed and conditioned to how negatively people treat me for simply drawing and selling pictures as a luxury service. Labeling me a grifter, scammer, or cheater all because I had a failed crowdfunding project back in the day. And when I call them out for talking out of pocket, they act as if I magically got a boss to answer to for the way I handle my own business. Like, that’s the point of creating your own business… so you don’t have to answer to no one but yourself.
Ex.C: Like, because he didn’t know the difference between an order for something that is ready to ship and a preorder of something that isn’t ready and is in the process of making, he didn’t have “the best experience”? Amazon really did a number on folks’ brains, didn’t they?
So, in the end of the correspondence, after cancelling their preorder and refunding their deposit back, I simply stated that I’m not concerned about their opinion on how I conduct my business, as someone would replace them in a few hours. Because I am never worried about that shit. I get thousands of views on my sites every week from all over the world and someone is always bound to order something from me. I also knew it would hurt their feelings after they lashed out at my own for simply trying to be considerately transparent with a subset of people who preordered something I’ve been clearly working on for some time.
And here was their response:
Ex.D: Uh, you’re welcome for the confirmation?
And hours later, while I was napping, here was the replacement I was talking about, exactly like I said:
Ex.E: And it’s already been fulfilled and shipped off to the Netherlands, as a regular actual order. Thanks for the support, chief!
Please, can someone comment and tell me how the above is considered egotism?
Why Are People Like That Like This?
As a creative or small business owner, you’re going to come across these types of individuals. Deep down, I know they want to be me. From the age of 19, I left home, took my art very seriously and built my creative empire from scratch. They wish they made all of the decisions I’ve made to get where I’m at. They wish they made certain sacrifices like I did. They wish they put themselves out there like I did. They wish they were confident and had strong boundaries over putting considerable time into their work and declaring that consumers are gonna have to pay if they wanna see more of it, like I did. They want to be able to be their own boss too, like I am. If only they didn’t treat their own art half-assed’ly like a hobby or decided to impregnate a woman, then they could be doing what I do now. (Not that there’s anything against that, mind. I enjoy having sex too. But like, damn— stick to your lane of procreating and I’ll stick to my own with the iPad in my lap. We all make and should just deal with our own choices.)
And that’s where the “egotistical” comments come from, because it’s simply a reflection of them not being able to be so straight-up about things they wish they could say or do. It’s not egotistical, I was simply pointing out an obvious fact about myself that I’m confident over as a result of doing this for nearly two decades. It’s like saying, “I’m going to go to the grocery store to buy some groceries” and get responded “you’re egotistical”. Like, yeah? My ego is hungry and need food, dafuq? 😂
If you got any motion, you’re going to have haters; simple as that. It’s just the way this world works. People rarely reflect on their own shortcomings, so they project them on to others. I’ve accepted it’s a part of life. When they watch you start from scratch and build yourself to a point where you can’t really be fucked with, then that’s when the true colors show, all the insults spew out, and assumptions get typed up. When they realize their basic contribution preorder deposit was only a speck in a sea of people who have given much more to me and received much more from me, then the truth and reality hits them like the iceberg hitting the Titanic.
But I have to always counteract this kind of educative post with a positive account, because for every person struggling with their own emotions and inner demons, you will get someone who is mature, reflects, and begins to understand me and where I come from, like so:
We need more of this in general with how people interact with professional artists. This is the kind of energy I’m about.
Where Are Things Going From Here
I’ve been in a heavy transitional period where I had to cut off old relationships because I would constantly feel their envious and jealous energy in simple interactions and ways. The jabs at the type of content I’m selling, the backhanded compliments about my art, the subtle remarks about the dimes I attract and/or date, where I’m potentially traveling, assumptions about what I’m doing with my hard-earned cash, etc.; and this includes old fans. It sucks, as I’ve always moved from a place of genuineness and integrity to put myself in a position to help others in need, but I realized I have to ditch old energy for new energy in order to keep my sanity and continue onward towards fulfilling my end goals.
But like I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve been making new friends in high places that aren’t even connected to my art career or persona who make it a point to let me know they appreciate me, my hardcore honesty, and authenticity. I no longer care for half-hearted spirits and entities always seeking and lurking for a handout, showing up the most for others who don’t give a damn about them while doing and giving me the bare minimum.
It’s funny... Last night, my mom even told me how she told off some family members this past weekend for treating her and my pops the same way people have treated my good-naturedness over the years. I told her I was very proud of her.
Anyway, I’m firing up some heat for this summer to drop that I’m sure everyone interested will enjoy for next year (hint hint). I’ve been on somewhat of a hiatus from making new products regularly for the past 2 years to focus solely on producing the content of the artbook, and I’ve made so many artistic advancements throughout that I’m ready to take it out on more new art. I’ll have new illustrations and prints dropping often on my shop here and on my alternate NSFW store, Teknakolor. I’m talking brand new limited tribute works to my personal favorite franchises, to sexy pinup art of popular characters, to even clothing drip, and brand new types of items I’ve never sold before. And to top it all off, Syrup will finally be in the hands of only those who preordered it before we know it, as a personal thanks for being real with me and my work over the years.
All in all, the fire under my seat is hella lit once more. Les get it.
Siri, play Hood Politics by Kendrick Lamar.
Yeah.
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