Choose Your Own Adventure
Reading Time: 10 Mins.
Heyo! I wanted to write this as not a “doom and gloom” or complaining kind of post. I’ve made my peace with the fact the world just has it against me for whatever reason for always either being “good” at making art, being influential, or always trying to do the right thing. It’s just a realistic message conveying the reality of my situation for the past several years.
This post has nothing to do with making the game, but mainly my career as an artist. Your understanding of this determines whether I quit that art career or not.
Firstly, I’m Still Finishing Syrup…
A couple months back, I sent out a private update message to the odd-600 or so people who preordered the Mixbook, regarding an intentional delay because of tariffs. For cost reasons, the books are being printed by a very reputable company in China. However, the US president I have no control over jacked up the originally planned production costs since the independent Mixbook project started.
Those who understood found no issue with waiting further. I’ve only had to cancel and refund 7 preorders, thankfully. I’ve always been extremely transparent with everything that goes on with my art career, even to my own detriment of telling people how past publishers were screwing me over (with proof) and how much I’ve made and shipped off my art standalone (with proof) and such in the past. People just don’t read or fact check anything. Everything regurgitated about me came from me, as I never had anything to hide from the jump. This was an obvious mistake as no one believed me then in 2020 despite some artists only now growing a backbone to call out horrible corporate mistreatment in 2025, but additionally, it’s extremely difficult now for me to rally support to get projects completed. Maybe people really are corporate cock suckers after all. Or maybe it’s just because I’m black. I don’t see any mean comments when this guy talks about making money off his art… 👀
Ex. A: Oh wait, nevermind. It’s definitely because I’m black. Heck, the guy in the middle even bought and received a Tifa print from me and still saying “dIDn’T hE go CRaZy?” whenever someone brings me up and reads every blog update I share. So, IDK anymore, man. It’s cool though ‘cuz my dick still big, so everyone wins.
First, I opened a Discord server and it barely took off with only 75 people on average out of not only the 600 people who preordered Syrup, and not only out of the 4000 people in my email list, but also not out of the hundreds of thousands of so-called “followers” I accrued over the years. So, I closed access to that, coupled with the fact that Discord began moving weird on a corporate level. I then opened my gallery again on the site like Crimson and a Patreon before it and was met with even less good results, averaging only under 40 people subbed.
I’ve always been sharing new art and posting art there and even still to this day. Before I did any Patreon type of thing, I’ve always shared art. It’s the reason I have such a massive following and my name pops up everywhere in the first place. I know I’m not overcharging, because if I draw one work of art, that can easily be upwards of $500 off the time taken alone. The fact I only charge a reasonable $10 a month is nothing in comparison. And I still create multiple works monthly. So, I know it’s not me with the problem, because my art is what does all the work and brings all the drama and bitches my way, as I mind my business.
Ex. B: Transparency, remember?
The Mixbook preorders only netted me a little over $30K. Sans production costs, that left me with very little to actually profit off of, and that remaining profit was spent in no less than 6 months after on a greedy mutual new landlord “friend” I was recommended to when my last rental complex wrongfully kicked me out of my apartment of 4 years for “unit renovation”. This is the reason I had to go on hiatus previously on Syrup’s production, because I literally had no home to work from for over a year. I was staying at a friend’s place on a couch for 8 months, before moving back to Chicago. I even told people this and I got berated for it. During this time, people started spreading lies and slander about me online, furthermore making it more difficult for me to commit to the project I had started.
The only thing that has literally been keeping me afloat is selling merch on Teknakolor, but I’ve been gutted immensely from my usual way of working for the past 12 years because the consistent funding I’ve been used to getting from posting art and getting subs like Patreon has vastly diminished. I have to work even more to keep the momentum I once had on top of working regularly on my game to make sure I follow through on that obligation. Typically, I’m used to having at least $4K in revenue coming in monthly from subs and I’m barely touching $500 monthly from subs alone nowadays. I’m getting views and hits weekly on my sites but barely any subscriptions. I’m genuinely over it because barely anyone wanted to help before I started calling people out for not wanting to help. But they all still want to see the art, tho. Heeyuck!
This isn’t a complaint. I’m simply stating facts. I’m aware people will celebrate over this, and I don’t even care about that. M’effers been praying on my downfall for no reason damn-near my entire existence on this planet, so nothing is new under the sun.
I WOn’t Sustain Myself Making Art Anymore. Unless…
With Generative AI having took over and fucking up people’s perception of art as a whole, and my refusal to be used and manipulated by those shitty companies in the industry and snake’y, two-faced clients like I have in the past, I’m anticipating the end of the road here on this art quest. Haven’t pulled commissions publicly since 2019 and that will remain the case. Shoutout to Antsstyle for ruining everyone else’s chance to have one.
Ex.C: By the way, it’s crazy that on his own useless site, he has the commissions I’ve done for him listed despite him bold-faced lying to everyone that I didn’t deliver commissions to him. People are so fucking gullible. And racist.
Ex. D: Welcome to the future, lmao. Fake like almost everyone.
It was a nice ride, and I’m happy to say that I managed to do quite a lot as it is in my career. But it’s not a sustainable way of living and working for me anymore. Not only financially, but also mentally. Leaving social media was probably the best thing I’ve done for my mental health because everyone can clearly see the majority of users are in an insane asylum, but unfortunately that’s also where most of the people are. They don’t even know what a personal website is, I bet. Barely a single person can leave the pointless doomscrolling and like-tapping like I did. So, that fact has done a number on my financial reach. And again, I genuinely don’t even care, because I made a lot of money off my art and found it ultimately pointless in the end. Especially with how people perceive me. I started out this shit broke and with very poor art.
I know my own worth, and I find no joy in being what others want me to be or how much someone likes or hates me based on what’s in my bank account. And I’ll still be hated on because I can create things well even if I lived in a cardboard box. It is what it is. But for the first time in my life, especially since working on Cryamore again and solo, I feel free. It’s funny because for all the lying people spread about me with that Kickstarter, I won’t be asking for a dime for any project ever again. All I truly ever wanted to do was create things in peace and also help others in the process, but I’ve dealt with nothing but nonsense for doing so, to this very day. And if I have to be stuck at my parents’ place to do that until I physically die, then so be it.
Like, let’s be real: AI can already do everything every single artist can do. I was doomed from the beginning, because of pointless traits like my skin tone or doing kind things for people. “It must be nice” to have a popular art career that you have to constantly defend yourself over and block tons of harassment for merely existing, while people who are drawing the same exact shit as me is getting away scot-free while doing actual fucked up shit to people behind the scenes. I wish I cared about exposing based on the new receipts I have from close acquaintances now, but I can’t even muster a fuck anymore. Everyone dies in the end. It’s all futile.
I’ve been “dead” for quite some time now. Don’t know why everyone else is so afraid of it.
However, I know there are people out there who still want to see new art consistently from me. Outside of finishing Syrup, I just don’t got it in me to keep making new art after. The way people have been conditioned into this overconsumptive lifestyle with viewing art and treating it like free snack food and on to the next, it’s just not a viable business model anymore. I think I’ll still keep my site and Teknakolor to sell some goodies from time to time, but it’s going to be purely a rare, part-time dealio. I’m just too old for these shenanigans, now. My art is undeniably good, yet being a so-called “bitch” or “shitty guy” or “chimping out” because everyone wants to see me as that for simply having boundaries or defending myself from unprovable lies and allegations. I’ve always been honest, yet I just want to continue being honest without all the backlash, negativity, and morons in my business. Plus, I simply wanna make my game(s) in peace.
Ex. E: As I once prophesied, there would be people missing me after not sticking up for me when the opportunity presented itself.
That is, it’s now only up to the consumers. So, there are two timelines for you to choose from: 1) I keep making new art so I can finish and ship Syrup fast and continue to make new art projects after, or 2) I build up the funds to finish Syrup slowly like I’m currently doing then I pack this standalone art shit all up for good. Whatever timeline happens is based on whether enough people subscribe to the gallery or not. If not enough people subscribe how it used to be for me where I can live comfortably to make art, then I’m retiring making art for good. If the people who preordered Syrup not also continue to actually order stuff from my stores, then it’s game over. Because y’all received countless shit from me so I don’t know what’s up with acting brand new. And it’s not like it ain’t achievable. People used to do it in the past but clearly felt some type of way now, for whatever reason. And people are still buying game consoles, games on Steam sales, and all kinds of shit with no time to even play or use them, and supporting artists who mimic my entire steez. So, it’s definitely, for sure, not me.
I think that’s fair for all involved or who cares enough. The message I’ll receive in reply is based on action. I think I did my part well over the course of 20 years. Every work of art I’ve made and posted and shared that people adored and appreciated and commission sold and merch designed and shipped was a result of my own actions. So, if no one can’t reciprocate or return that favor, then so be it. I’m SO OKAY with Timeline #2. I’m not mad at it, not upset, not complaining about it. Because I’m simply numb and indifferent about art now, thanks to everything I’ve gone through and what people collectively have put me through.
Thank God I know how to program and build games and other shit as back-ups. It’s a great spot to be in, not gonna lie. 😌
Oh, I know a good track for this post today… Hey Siri, play Neighbors by J.Cole. Yeah.
✨💊✨
